NewsFlash--Thayet Breaks a Nail
by Dewdrop
Summary: Another of my fics wrote entirely for fun. Pretty dorky and VERY short.


Newsflash: Thayet Breaks a Nail  
  
  
  
I'm BAAAAAACCCCKKKKKKK! MWAHAHAHA!!! And hyper as ever. This is probably not as good as my last fics, but hey, I'm human. It's a great deal shorter, too. I own Eda and lil' o' Tim, but nothing else. This is really cheesy, but enjoy!  
  
  
  
Hi, I'm Eda Ekinsin from the Tortallan Times. I'm here today to give you coverage on one of Tortall's most recent and devastating disasters. Queen Thayet broke a nail! Let's go to Tim Thomas, another reporter from the Tortallan Times.  
  
  
  
Tim: Hi there! I am currently in Corus, the capital of Tortall. I'm here to talk to Queen Thayet about her disaster.  
  
*Thayet appears on the screen, crying and holding her head in her hands. Her right thumb is heavily bandaged. Jon is trying to comfort her, and Alanna is walking a little ways behind them.   
  
Thayet: *sobs* Oh, Jon! How could this *sobs* happen? WAAAA!!!  
  
Jon: *winces at her shriek* Shhh....its ok.  
  
Thayet: NO ITS NOT! My beauty is no longer perfected! I'm no longer the most beautiful!  
  
Tim: Your Majesty, how did you know you weren't the most beautiful after you broke your nail?  
  
Thayet: *sobs* This morning when I looked into my magic mirror and said, as usual, 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?' Usually it says, 'Why, you, of course!', but today it said, 'M'lady, you are quite fair, but not even you can beat Snow White's beauty.' AUGGH!!! I'll get that BITC* if it's the last thing I do!  
  
Tim: *rolls his eyes* oh, how sad! Has this mirror of yours ever led you wrong?  
  
Thayet: *shakes head* No, never, and I don't know why it would start now!  
  
Tim: Hmmm...so sad. Your majesty, how did you actually break your nail?  
  
Thayet: I was sitting in front of my mirror, brushing my hair until it gleamed, as I do every day for about 7 1/2 hours. Then SHE barged in and startled me into dropping my brush, saying something about how all Tortall's neighboring countries have declared war on us and are attacking and Jon needs me to help him get organized. I can't believe she had the nerve to interrupt me in the middle of my quality time with me, my reflection, and my hairbrush! As I said, then my brush fell out of my left hand and onto my right hand, which was resting on the table. My nail broke, and it was ALL HER FAULT!! *sobs again, into Jon's shoulder*  
  
Alanna: *goes closer to Thayet* Hey, umm...Your Majesty*mockingly*, have you ever tried fake nails? They look the same and don't break as easily. I wear them all the time-otherwise my nails would break all the time during battle.  
  
Thayet: *bats her eyelashes dumbly, as if the though just occurred to her for the first time* Oh yeah! Why didn't I think of that?  
  
Tim: *sighs, as if to say, "WOMEN!!!"* Ya, well why don't you try fake nails before you made me come all the way out to this hell-hole(a.k.a. Tortall) to talk to some stupid queen about her stupid nail catastrophe-I don't even care one little bit!  
  
*Jon, Thayet, Alanna, and all the other Tortallans glare and little Timmy.  
  
Tim: *edges away nervously* Ahh...did I just say that? By golly, if must've been a tongue spasm! Uh, I mean to say, "wonderful place with the wonderful queen"!  
  
Tortallans: *not amused*   
  
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Punching and shrieking and yelling and cussing   
  
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Eda: *looks unnerved* Um, I don't think Tim will be up to any more, so I guess that's the end of our interview with Queen Thayet of Tortall. Please stay tuned for more news from the land of Tortall!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
MWAHAHAHAHA How did you like it??? Sucks I know....that's ok you can't imagine how FUN it was to write! LOL. I think I'll do another something sorta like this, but I dunno I'd like to get some more chapters out on Fairy Troubles and Life's Favorites. Please read and review!  
  
  
  
Thanks y'all~Dewdrop~  
  
  
  
  



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